You might have already heard, but two weeks ago our studio flooded. A pipe from underneath our building broke and of the entire building, including five apartments and one other commercial space, WE were the only one affected. You might think this would cause deep frustration, panic, or even despair as we threw away wet props and soaked furniture and tried to salvage anything not completely destroyed. Surprisingly, it didn’t. In fact, we laughed when the water started coming, we laughed while we cleaned, and we now laugh when we tell the story. How could we laugh during a time like this, you might wonder? Even with thousands of dollars lost, having to immediately and completely move out and remodel the space, we can laugh because years ago this all happened before.
We were in another studio space, the space that Footstone was born in. A space that we sold our home for just so we could afford to open it. We had been there for seven years and it was everything to us. But when the tenant next door decides to expand, well, long story short, we didn’t get our lease renewed. We packed up, cried, and moved out. Losing our studio, which had become our identity, put us in a place where we were humbled to the core. We had left a high end location to working out of boxes in a spare bedroom of our small rental house. It stripped us down to the moment we asked ourselves, “What are we doing with our lives?” Three months after we lost our studio was the night we were sitting in downtown Atlanta having the conversation. “What are we going to do?” “Why are we photographers?” “There’s got to be something more.” And ultimately… “What is our purpose?”
Those of you who follow this blog, know what happened next. Out of our personal loss, came the vision for the Blessing.
I have to be honest, I’m really nervous about what I’m about to tell you in today’s post. I feel like it deserves to be written by someone like Mark Batterson (if you don’t know him, I suggest you do). But now, because of the obstacles we are facing, I am confident this story was given to me so that I could share it with you. I will do my best to give it justice.
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The music was low and we were both staring at our monitors working on orders. Paul sat two desks down in the studio. There was something on my mind I wanted to talk to him about. “Want to get some fresh air?” I asked. He said “sure,” then put his stylus down and walked quietly behind me out the studio door. He said nothing as we walked along the brick sidewalks. Finally, I broke the silence.
“You can say no,” I prefaced, and paused, “but I want to give a Blessing session to Michelle Pritchard.”
This was a huge ask. Michelle lives three hours away and there is a lot of time that goes into these sessions. But, Paul didn’t hesitate for even a second. He said, “Ok. When do you want to go down?”
I hadn’t seen or talked to Michelle in decades, but I knew she and her husband had gone through a hard time. They were still married, but I assumed there was also still pain. I couldn’t get her off my mind. Every time I worked on something related to the Blessing, I thought of her. She often leaves comments on our Blessing content. They are always so positive and encouraging, but knowing what she went through, I wondered what was going on behind her words. Simply put, I had a "gut feeling" that we needed to do this for her.
When Paul and I got back from our walk, I messaged Michelle’s daughter and told her what we wanted to do for her mom. She melted, via tearful emojis, and helped me get the process started. About one month later, we began with the interviews. This part was scary. I was going to interview her husband… who had been unfaithful… and help him write a Blessing for Michelle. Before I called him, I had an emotional pep talk with myself… “Kristin, don’t be weird. Don’t make it weird. Just talk like you would with any husband. Assume nothing.”
I tucked myself in a back room of our home one Saturday morning. I called… “Hi Brendan, it’s Kristin Privette.” Obviously he knew who it was, we had the meeting scheduled.
“Hi Kristin!” he said. “It’s been a long time!”
“Yes it has,” I said. “I’m really excited to do this for Michelle.”
He said he was too and thanked me for such an amazing gift. I told him I couldn’t shake the feeling of needing to do this for her. Then we began the interview.
“My first question is the easiest one. Then they’ll progressively get more difficult,” I laughed. “What are adjectives, single word descriptions, that come to your mind when you think about Michelle?”
“Hmmmm,” he sighed and thought for a second. “Bold,” he answered, but then paused immediately. Then he said, “Loyal.” The word caused discomfort, but he embraced it. We weren’t headed down that path yet, but I knew we would eventually go there. He began listing off other words to describe Michelle, “caring, wise, humble, beautiful…”. Once I could tell he was finished answering this question, I asked him if he was ready for number two. “Yes,” he answered. I couldn’t tell if he was getting more comfortable or more nervous. Maybe both.
“Ok, number two,” I said. “What are special gifts that you see in Michelle? These do not have to be one word answers. Feel free to just talk freely, or I can give you examples.” He didn’t need examples. He began. “She is an artist. She is a leader. She is a tremendous cook. She is always willing to give her time. It’s never too late or too early for her. She’s not afraid to go up and pray for someone. She has a passion to see people free.” Then he stopped. I could hear his voice change. He swallowed, but didn’t say anything more.
I asked him the third question. “What do you know that Michelle will accomplish in her life?” He spoke of all the women she counsels and how he admires her passion to win lives to the Lord. He had a lot to say about her as a mother and grandmother. His words came easily and freely about how much he respected and admired his wife. The descriptions of Michelle were empowering. I wanted to be this kind of woman. Then it was time for the fourth question…
“Ok, I’m sorry, but not sorry,” I warned. “Last question. You are about to have one last conversation with Michelle. And you know it will be your last. What do you desperately want her to know?”
The pause seemed long because I was nervous, but in reality it wasn’t long at all. He knew exactly what he wanted to say.
“I desperately want her to know how much I love her. I’ve always found her beautiful inside and out. I’m so thankful she’s loyal. I’m sorry I put her through hell. I could have destroyed our family, but she made beauty out of ashes. She fought for our family. I credit her that our entire family is walking with the Lord. Because of her, we will all share eternity together. God wins.”
As I feverishly wrote these words, I felt like my pen was recording healing. My fingers were moving as fast as they could, yet the words seemed to form in slow motion. I knew what he just spoke could change lives. I was humbled that he’d speak them to me.
After Brendan’s interview I also interviewed their daughter and son, who were old enough when the affair happened that they were forced to live through it as well. Their words were astonishing.
“She never downplays the hurt, but looks for God in it. She taught me how to pray for my husband because I watched her pray for my dad,” said her daughter, Taylor.
“Her example, her steadfastness, and her hunger for her faith have changed my life. She taught me how to love,” said her son, Hunter.
Now it was time for the session. We planned a weekend to drive down to my home town where Michelle and her family live. Our boys stayed with my parents and Paul and I drove to their home. Michelle walked out when she saw our car and hugged me. I could tell she was nervous. Everyone was. We chatted while Paul set up his lights. He decided the living room would be the best place because of space and light. We placed two chairs in the middle of the room, lights beside them, and I was seated off camera in front of them. As Michelle sat in one chair, Brendan came first and sat in the other. I read his words to her while he held her hands. Some moments he was looking down, tears filling both their eyes. But other moments he looked directly into Michelle’s eyes. He wanted her to receive his words fully and completely. Paul circled around them and photographed. The power of this moment was palpable. Little did I know the ultimate power of this experience was yet to come.
After the session, Michelle asked if we could pray before we left. We stood in a circle and held hands. Brendan prayed. We gave hugs and said good bye.
After the session, I reached out to Michelle again and said I had a weird question. I asked her if I could interview her. The words that her family spoke about the woman she was made me want to know more about her. Again, I had a “gut” feeling that we needed to talk again, beyond the photography part. We scheduled the phone call; one that would change my life.
What I thought would be an interview immediately turned into something very different.
“Kristin, I need to tell you a story. Nine years ago, the night that Brendan left me, God gave me a vision. I was surrounded by my family. My children and Brendan were there. We were renewing our vows. I clung to this vision night after night, month after month, believing that my marriage would be saved. But there were nights that I cried, moments when it seemed as if there was no hope. I was angry at God, asking him why he’d give me this vision if our marriage was going to fail. But here we are, nine years later, and my family is together, and we are strong. God wins.
“Kristin, here is why I’m telling you this. In that vision, I saw Brendan, Taylor and Hunter. But there were two people in that circle that I couldn’t tell who they were. I wondered about it over the years, who those people were, who would come into my life that might help me fight for my marriage. Would it be a couple that would mentor us? Who would be important enough in our lives to attend our vow renewal? Kristin, after our session, I realized it was you and Paul. A vision God gave me nine years ago was fulfilled because of you two. It wasn’t a vow renewal ceremony. It was the Blessing.”
I couldn’t process what I just heard. Tears fill my eyes even now as I’m typing. Was this real? Did God put us in her vision so many years ago?
I look back at our journey starting the night the Blessing inspiration came to us. Little did we know that many years before it had already been set into motion. What if we had not listened? When it made no sense to embark on a personal project during loss and chaos in our own lives, we knew we had to. I will no longer doubt the “gut feelings”.
Since Mark Batterson has been on my mind a lot recently, I will close with his words. “The obstacle is not the enemy, it is the way.“
I asked Michelle if she would change any part of what happened to her. Her response? “No. The pain pales in comparison to what we have now.” Paul and I believe that we will look back on our flood the same way.
Are you, perhaps, in a flood of your own right now? Are you holding on when maybe you should let go? Are you hearing a still, small voice telling you to do something? Will you listen? Will you let go? I’m speaking as much to myself right now as I am to you. How about this… how about we let go? Let’s meet God IN the flood instead of asking him to end it. Let’s ride these waters, knowing in complete confidence that they will carry us the way we should go.
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If you are struggling in your marriage because of infidelity, and would like someone to talk to, Michelle is willing and available. Send me a message and I’ll connect you.